Thursday, February 7, 2008

SOS from Grace

Hullo, Internet people? My name is Grace and I am a Rottweiler dog and I think you might have heard my Mama talking about me lately. Well, I need someone to help me. You see, my leg wasn't working right and my Mama took me to see that nice man that I like very much and he petted me and told me I was pretty and then he gave me some weird medicine that made me very sleepy and when I woked up, there was this big cut on my leg. Well, it hurt some of course, but I am a ROTTweiler which as you know is a big, strong, brave dog and I only cried a little bit and Mama gave me some medicine that made the hurt go away and I really think my leg is getting better already, but now I have a new problem.

You see, these little threads in my cut are making my leg very, very itchy, and you know, when something itches, you just HAVE to lick it and so I was licking it last night, and Mama said "Grace, no lick." Well, I am a Very Good Dog and I almost always do what Mama says, unless there is a good reason not to, and so I tried, I really, really tried, but then I just HAD to lick again. And then Mama got out That Awful Thing that she made me wear once before and she put it on me and it is STOOPID and I hate wearing it because I keep bumping into things and those damn cats are laughing at me behind Mama's back and ooooh, I am so sorry I said a bad word, but really it is not nice of those mean ol' cats to laugh at me.

And so I wrote a letter to my Auntie Lisa who loves me and only has that other dog as a temporary substitute because she misses me so much and I asked her to ask Mama to take the Awful Thing off, but she won't. So please, I know that a lot of you love dogs and you would never make them wear an Awful Thing and so won't you puh-LEEZE tell Mama to TAKE THIS THING OFF! I promises that I won't never lick my leg ever, ever again. Thank you very much.


Anonymous said...


I'm so sorry, honey. It's a sad truth that people -- even those who love you -- think that doggies look so funny in coneheads that they sometimes make up excuses to put them on doggies. I think your Mama just needed some laughs for a few days and so she's put one on you. So, you be a good girl and let her laugh and then she'll take it off. I know it's a burden, but you are a big, strong, brave girl and you can bear it. Poor Grace!

ncmountainwoman said...

Dear Grace,
Perhaps your mom could try one of those long foam neck collars (brace). It looks like a rectangle and wraps around your neck, held with masking tape. It doesn't stick out like the cones, but keeps you from bending your neck enough to lick the sutures.

As for the laughing cats, remind them of the dog who scooped up a kitten (accidently of course) with his cone collar.

Sara said...

Dear Grace,
I am so sorry you must endure this indignity. It is a serious doglemma but your incision looks really good and just needs a little while longer to heal.
As for those cats, just quietly remind them that when you feel all better, they are TOAST !

Repeat to yourself: "I am a ROTTweiler, I am a ROTTweiler" and it will be over soon. Hugs for you.

Kathy said...

Grace, I'm so sorry that you had to have surgery and now have to wear your fashionable collar. Even though the collar is annoying, you are still a very pretty girl. Don't pay any attention to the cats, who are probably jealous you are getting special attention. You are a really brave dog and pretty soon your leg will be as good as new and you won't have to wear the collar anymore.

Mary said...

Grace, some people call it a silly lampshade and others call it a collar for a Queen! That's You! Tell the kitties to bug off. Soon you'll stop itching... Promise.

(Kathi, I was wondering when I'd see the dreaded collar...)

Lisa at Greenbow said...

Dear Grace, My Mom told me about your doglemma. I don't think you look as bad as you think you do. Those cats are just being mean to you since you can't get around quite as good as usual. If you want me to I could come over there and chase them for you. I am good at chasing cats. I do it all the time in our garden. I hope you are out of your cone soon.
Love, Luna
P.S. Katdoc please don't leave that cone on Grace any longer than necessary. Thank you, Luna

Holly said...

Gracie- We are so sorry to hear about your recent injury and surgery and our thoughts are with you. We both are sending healing thoughts your way.
About the Awful Thing - our mom has done the same thing to us. (Libby says that mom puts an Awful Thing on her, mom calls it a leash, every day.) She even put Awful Things called Gentle Leaders on us. They went around our muzzles and we couldn't drag her down the road! Can you IMAGINE??? But she always tells us it's for our own good and she does it because she loves us so. I know she does, just as your mom loves you too, so it must be something you need. You know - parents are always doing things That Are For Your Own Good.
Maybe your mom could get you a more fashionable color. Or bling it up a little. Tell the cats they don't know haute couture when they see it and laugh at them for being unfashionable and out of date. You know how cats are, they are mean and stinky and they puff all up like they're all that with their big hair. Cats are dumb.
Love you lots, feel better soon!
Love, Lucy and Libby

KatDoc said...

All you peoples are very nice and everything, but only Luna, Lucy and Libby really understand me.

Mama does take the Awful Thing off when I eat or when we walk, and she says she might take out those itchy black threads on Sunday which is a Very Good Thing and so I will be back to almost normal real, real soon.

Thank you for thinking about me, even though NOT ONE OF YOU told Mama to take the thing off me.